Have you met people who are physically 30 or 40 years old but their mental age is stuck in their early childhood? Are you also one of those people who is wedged in such a trap?
Well, it is a normal human tendency and nothing to worry about. Most people stay trapped in that mental age where they did not receive any love until they learn to love themselves completely.
Everyone is different and so are one’s circumstances. Every child has some basic needs both physical and emotional which if not received at the right time can shape the future of the child differently. Every age group has different needs and if at some point these needs are not catered, the child remains trapped at that mental age while the body grows.
Age 0 to 1 years: Early Childhood
In the early childhood days, a child needs utmost love and compassion which he seeks in his mother. If the mother dismisses these needs of her child at this age, the child gets anxious and feels afraid. The child does not trust anyone as he is deprived of the basic love at such a tender age.
In adulthood, this can cause a serious impact on the individual life. He may not be able to get into any relationship since he is distrustful of everyone, have trouble in making friends and develop anxiety issues.
Age 2 to 4 years: Developing Childhood
After the early years, the child starts understanding things and builds up self-control. He is starting to develop motor skills to walk and is able to form words now. If he is not given the love and attention needed at this stage by his parents, he develops a feeling of shame. He might develop the feeling of being a loser since he is not able to fulfil the expectations of his parents.
On the other hand, if the parents and family members are too over-protective, then the child will never to able to learn the lessons of life himself. He will always look for the approval of others which might cause attention disorders in the long run.
Age 4 to 6 years: Prime Childhood
This is the time where the child develops physically and the mind grows. The child asks infinite questions during this time. There is a “why” with everything he does. During this prime period of life, the child needs the support and answers for his questions, interest, projects, and his imagination. But if the parents are not supportive towards his creativity or neglect it as unimportant, then the child develops feelings of guilt.
After the child grows-up, the feeling of guilt towards any new and creative work remains. It does not allow the individual to have the courage to take up any new work or have the determination to set goals. The person also lacks focus and stimulation to think out of the box. The guilt can also develop into psychopathic behaviour and frigidity towards his career.
Age 7 to 17 years: School Going Days
Once the child starts going to school, he starts learning new things, gets new morals and makes new friends. He faces competition for the first time in his life. If the parents are doubtful of their child’s ability to compete with others and do not encourage him, the child develops an inferiority complex. This inferiority complex does not allow the child to develop confidence in his decisions and destroys his ability to work efficiently.
How to get out of this trap?
If you are trapped in the same situation like him, then you should look for the cause inside yourself and give your inner child the love and support he has always craved for. You are accountable for your own development.
Step 1: Imagine yourself as a child
You have to imagine yourself as a child and try to make your imagination vivid and clear. Think of your childhood days, your age, the clothes which you used to wear, the way you look and the problems you faced at that time.
Step 2: Talk to your Inner Self
Once you have imagined yourself as a school going kid, talk to your inner self. You may not get all the answers but many of the things will be revived which you have forgotten in the ways of your life. Take two different coloured pencils and write down your feelings, one for your inner self and other for your adult self. You will eventually form a bond with your inner self and will feel that all the scars are healing.
Remember- many other people are stuck in the same vicious trap. So you have to change your outlook towards the world. Think of everyone as they are also struggling to find the way out of their miseries.
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