By Linda Tint
Contributing Author, Conscious Reminder
You feel tired and a little bit empty? It can be not due to weather or health, but because of presence of a ghoul in your life which you didn’t recognize yet.
No matter how far you are from him physically, ghoul can always find a way to you in the dark – particularly, in your unconsciousness.
Ghoul is a person who lacks empathy and has a desperate greed for anyone’s emotions, and it’s dangerous if you developed feelings – good, or bad – towards him. A single parent, mother-in-law, a boss, a partner – ghoul can be anyone who makes you emotionally dependent on them.
Ghouls often look young and full of energy, despite their age and hard way of life. They surround you with their stories, gossips and questions, however you don’t feel warm exchange which takes place in a healthy communication.
What you experience while talking with a ghoul is rather tiredness and low self-esteem, because ghouls take your positive emotions and exchange them on nothing – emptiness.
Ghouls are never truly happy with their life, because they cannot fulfill themselves with its most important treasure – joy of syntonic emotions with the others.
Ghouls are into fun, adventures and parties as much as funerals, accidents and mass troubles, because huge emotional events give them energy, however not joy or sadness.
Sometimes they don’t have a possibility to participate in communication and they can apply their energy to a huge amount of physical or mind work, that can result in a great holiday dinner or a complicated project at work.
Although exhausted of physical or mind work, they will be ready to empty you anyway when it comes to talk.
The reason of loneliness and need in emotions of the ghouls is that they have lack of their own emotions and empathy. They cannot feel what you are going through, and they cannot take your point of view.
They can have high moral principles and try to be good friends when it comes to help, especially to their family or people whom they consider important and dependent – however in everyday live communication they are monsters, because they just didn’t learn how to feel.
Their own parents did not exchange emotions with them, focused on themselves or someone else in their life, which resulted in a lonely child who grew up into emotionally cold and resistant adult.
Emotional strength means ability not to feel compassion, however not the other emotions which don’t require communication. Ghouls experience fear, shame and anxiety as well as the other people, and it makes them different from sociopaths who lack guilt.
That’s why ghouls often lead modest background life, rather than try to become social leaders.
To protect yourself from a ghoul, you must be a ghoul by yourself, which is possible if you had enough emotional experience which made you decide to detach from feelings. However if you are smarter and decide to stay compassive, you can be a protector for yourself or for those who seem in danger of ghoul influence.
You protect yourself from a ghoul taking his own methods of attack. First of all, it’s a distance – trying to be emotionally as far as possible, you should focus on someone else who has a great compassion to you.
If you have to stay with a ghoul for a long time, talks with your compassion-friend would be the best way of protection.
Ghoul cannot be “killed” – in other words, he, or she, cannot change. You cannot teach a ghoul how to experience empathy – it can be done only by a professional psychotherapist, and the process may take years, as well as lots of your money.
The process of “teaching” may also occasionally happen if a ghoul is getting emotionally attached to someone, and by this way he or she can learn empathy. But this is a rare case, as ghouls usually attach to other ghouls or sociopaths, who use the others.
If you will try to teach a ghoul empathy by yourself, you would likely receive traumatic attack because a ghoul protects his empty self from filling with something alive like condolence.
What else you do in order to protect yourself from a ghoul, is humor. Distancing by the way of sarcastic acceptance of whatever ghoul tells you is the best way to get rid of him. Ghoul doesn’t receive your emotional reply and loses you – you become an empty space for him, ghoul is alone with himself and his needs, and you are free.
Show that you are not weak, in their terms. Ghouls know that they are emotionally more resistant than you, so you should pretend to be as cold-blooded as them. You can even seem cruel sometimes – but don’t forget that it’s not your real self, just a temporal armor.
If you recognize a ghoul among your friends or relatives, you should cut your relationship because it’s going to prevent your self-development and emotional happiness. If it’s your partner, finding someone else who is alike – by character and also physically – is the best way to break free from a ghoul lover on unconscious level.
You should quit the job where you became a target for a ghoul, and don’t care about money because mental health is your best capital. If you recognize a ghoul in your family, all you can do is emotionally separate yourself and be financially independent.
Space should be separated as well – you have to move in your own place and build healthy relationship without ghoul’s influence.
There are situations when you cannot avoid the ghoul for a short time. Say, you have to visit some relatives, or you have to do project with a ghoul in the office. For those situations, you can use my advises on protection.
Dealing with the ghouls can be safe as long as you don’t develop emotions towards them – positive or negative, they make you weak for those who don’t know empathy.
Also remember that those creatures detached from joy of compassion can be fun, but they also are a real pity.
art by Sara Kipin
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