by Conscious Reminder
Life takes a lot of fights to keep it upright and is only as sea-worthy as you can make it.
But if you stay ashore in your own little island, that’s one less fighter on the side of fair and your relationship flounders.
But then again you aren’t a gladiator. It is more about a little sparring than a bare-knuckle fight on a dusty street. Keep it civil. Because you don’t want to hurt your partner, just to get the load off your chest, and set the record straight.
1. Keep It Regular
Open up at the first opportunity. Don’t accumulate your angst. Let off steam at regular intervals and save your relationship from that big blow-up.
2. An Iron Fist In A Kid’s Glove
Always soften up the blow. Don’t have a go with the intention to score a point. Make it soft but still get your message across. “I get nervous when you come home late” is always better than “you’re late again.”
3. Mind Your Tongue
Don’t use words that are a direct insult. And don’t make a personal affront. You will get it back in the same coin.
4. This Isn’t A Free-For-All
Don’t make things more complicated by bringing in your family and friends into what is a personal issue. A one to one spar, that is a healthy need in a relationship, could degenerate into an ugly bar-room brawl.
5. Zero In
Put a stop to every frivolous thing until the matter in contention is resolved. And don’t bring in other problems as you will then have a messy cocktail of issues.
6. Time-Outs Are An Integral Part
If it is turning out to be a long-drawn-out argument, take a short break before things get overheated and the main issue gets buried under the rubble of past ones. But keep the break short as the issue in contention should not become too cold.
7. Never Cut Communication
Let your partner know the reason for your peeve. They aren’t mind-readers so don’t assume that they know of your problem. Be vocal but be civil.
8. Win Some, Lose Some
For your relationship, it is prudent to concede defeat at times. Get your point across and if still find that difference persists, back down. Losing a few battles isn’t the end of the world.
9. Don’t Blame But Don’t Shoulder All Of It Either
You are not in a court-room, sentencing the culprit. Resolve the matter, shake hands, and move on.
10. Play By The Rules
Saying things that are not part of the issue in contention just to throw your partner off-balance is unfair and dangerous. They can return you the same hurt. This kind of damage cannot be undone.
Get used to the idea that you are not going to agree on every little thing for the rest of your lives. It’s okay to agree to disagree in a relationship. And learn from them so you and your partner can learn to better deal with them in the future.
You will learn more about each other as you become more devoted to your relationship.
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