Movies and books have taught us that we have the “perfect one” waiting for us. Whoever we meet, we hope that they turn out to be our soulmate and imagine how beautiful our lives would be. However, life isn’t that simple and more often than not we see the wrong
Rewind And Replay
“The past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it.” —The Lion King
We all want or wish to give a second chance. We want the incomplete thing from the past attain fulfilment. For this reason we attract similar kinds of people or find ourselves in identical situations. Freud calls it the repetition compulsion.
This way we want to rectify our past errors or “fix” the flaws in others, hoping things will fall in place this time around. This indeed is a grave mistake because you know how the relationship will eventually end. Know what is best for you.
Comfort Zone
“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” — John A. Shedd
We all have a certain desire that we nourish since childhood. With time it is intensified. We crave for these qualities in our partner or hope that they want the same things from life. This is what makes a couple compatible.
For example, if you’ve grown up in a relatively sheltered environment, you would have a sense of being protected. You wouldn’t crave the same amount of protection which a person who grew up in a rather reckless environment would need. This is to say that the first person would find a mildly problematic situation a matter of grave concern whereas the latter might not find the issue anything of concern.
Emotional Needs
“When you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”— Bojack The Horseman
Love, respect, trust, visibility – what was missing in the previous relationship? Do you see yourself craving the same kind of emotions? Does the familiar situation make you more self-assured?
It may be so that the same setback makes you think that this time you’ll go beyond the problem and be happy. You crave for genuine love but for that you’ll have to have an open mind. Don’t look at anyone with those rose colored glasses, we all are flawed and hence humans…find your perfect fit.
Be Your Own Loving Partner First
“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.” —C. JoyBell C.
Be kind to yourself. Be compassionate. The way you treat yourself is how others will treat you. Never let your standards down, you’ll attract people who will vibe with you. It is important to know your individual strength and weaknesses. Work on yourself, learn new things, experiment and enjoy life.
If you go on doing the same thing over and over again, you can’t expect a different outcome, can you? You need to take charge of your life. Declutter and prioritise. Things will be better.
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