by Conscious Reminder
For some people, it is totally not their style to never help others. There are a lot of people in the world with big hearts, and when they see others in trouble, they just want to help them and make things better.
For them, helping is an instinct. After all, when they are in trouble, they would like others to help them too.
However, there are situations in life in which, regardless of how difficult or unnatural it may feel, the best thing a person can do is hold back from something, and never get involved. We are not supposed to be the fairy godmother of everyone.
Here are the five situations in which we should not help others:
1. When we expect something from them in return
In fact, helping other people should be something selfless. Even just the smallest possible favor does not mean that they owe us forever.
This does not mean that we have to run around people that do not appreciate us; however, helping should not be motivated by favors in return, but it could be because we genuinely want to improve the situation of someone.
When we find out that we usually feel hard done as those that helped us are not forever in our debt, maybe it is the perfect time to reexamine our motivations.
2. When a person does not want our help
Sometimes, it is frustrating to see that someone bangs his or her head against the brick wall, having problems to which we think we have easy solutions. However, when our help is not accepted, we should not keep persisting.
We can only help people who want our help, and when they are stressed out, offering them, a solution might be seen as adding to the anxiety.
Another example where someone does not want our help would be when he or she does something that we don’t approve, so we try to help him or her to stop.
3. When it is at our own expense
We don’t have much time to meet; however, our friend wants us to take a look over his or her following business proposal or wants us to propose urgently. We don’t feel quite well, but a member of our family wants us to come over, and look after him or her when he or she has the flu.
Well, in such situations, it would be completely okay to put ourselves first and refuse to help them – we should not let our work or life suffer as we think the needs of someone else are more significant than ours.
4. When someone does not deserve our help
We will all sometimes have a friend that will continuously push the boundaries of the friendship. For instance, he or she will turn up at our house every time and will be quite rude or demanding towards us.
And, a day will come when the friend will be in trouble. We will ignore our guts and travel even far away in order to help him or her just for him or her to backfire incredibly spectacularly.
We should remember to listen to our gut and know that the person we want to help does not deserve that help at all.
5. When we are simply not qualified
When someone goes through something quite serious, offering our support will be nothing wrong; however, we should never try to act like a doctor or therapist to a person when we are simply not qualified for offering help.
Instead, the best possible thing we can do is support him or her to get professional help, or be his or her shoulder to cry on.
Being nice is nice – helping others is also a nice thing; however, before we put ourselves out, we should ensure we are doing that for the appropriate reasons, that we have the ability to help and also that others don’t take advantage of us.
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